Spiders Protest Over Bird Rescue Aftermath

The Spider community has lodged a formal protest with the Household Administration, it has been announced.

Speaking to reporters at a short-notice press conference on the third step up, Spider representative Brian Moore stated that the community was alarmed at what he called “apparent discriminatory practices” observed following yesterday’s bird-retrieval operation.

“Despite our historical differences, of course Spiders all around the House celebrate the successful rescue and release of our injured Avian cousin,” said Mr Moore. “Furthermore, we are confident that the injury was the result of an unavoidable accident and not, as some have suggested, a reckless mismanagement of the Border Defence Feline.”

However, Mr Moore said, he and others were concerned at a number of reports allegedly received of Spiders being brushed from established homes and, in one case described as ‘extremely worrying’, of a young Tegenaria who only narrowly avoided being fatally vacuumed by the clean-up team.

Mr Moore said, “We wish to stress that we have not made this protest frivolously. The Spider community has always enjoyed great freedom and opportunity in the Household, and we do not wish to be ungrateful. However, we believe that as citizens of the Household we are entitled to no less care and consideration than were shown to the unfortunate visiting sparrow yesterday. We are more than willing to cooperate and ‘do our bit’ for our society, but we must be assured of equal treatment under the floor.”

The community’s note of protest was delivered to the Adminstration late yesterday evening. A spokeswoman declined to comment in depth, but stated that the Adminstration stood for fairness and equality for all, and that the Council would give the document its full consideration before making any formal response.

The Border Defence Feline is currently engaged in domestic operations, though extramural activities are scheduled to resume tomorrow. It is not yet known whether any changes have been made to planned duties in response to yesterday’s incident.

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