I’ve never been good at losing.
No, actually, that’s not true. I’ve always been exceptionally good at losing: I do it very well indeed. I’m exceedingly well practised, as I think mentioned in my previous post.
Well, tonight my list of Occasions Of Having Been Murdered In EVE Online grew by one more:
It was the Hammerhead IIs that hurt most. Those five drones were going to make me quite a bit of money. Possibly even a few million ISK. The total I lost thanks to the gate-camp I flew eye-blind into way outweighed the profit I might’ve made.
So I was, I admit, cross. Furious, in fact: partially with the smug little fokkers who’d killed me, but mostly with me. I knew my corp was at war; I knew our declared opponents could kill us wherever they found us – security status isn’t relevant when a war’s in progress – and still I wandered around the place like I was going on a jolly jaunt down the promenade at the seaside.
+++ CAPSULE EJEC….*
The system didn’t have time to finish telling me my ship had gone before my pod – with me in it, of course – went as well.
Credit to them, I guess they didn’t waste time making idiot demands before they did it, so that’s something.
So I have a shiny new body and the creeping feeling that I’m not actually the same person that was blown up in that ship; that she’s actually dead, and I’m just a replica who thinks she’s the same person because she’s been implanted with the same memories. Is that enough to make you the same person? I’m not so sure.
Capsuleers charge into battle without a thought on the basis of their supposed immortality – but if any of them took the time to consider the philosophical implications, they might be a little less eager to get blown up.
And, true to my nature and in keeping with my history of Dealing With Defeat, I punished myself by damaging something valuable to me: I quit my corp, which had been perfectly good to me in the few months I’d been a member – and I’d been invited by a real-life friend, too – so no doubt I’ll have offended her.
But, on the plus side, it’s not that long since a stupid, avoidable, embarrassing setback like this would have prompted me to terminate my character and re-roll. And that, this time, I haven’t done.
So, substantial loss of fictitious monetary units; embarrassment to corporation; self-inflicted loss of access to corp… All bad things that could and should have been avoided. However, continuation of the same character and no loss of skill points and the sunk time they represent.
On balance, I’d say this is progress.